Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
