Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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