Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
