I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
