Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
