Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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