I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
