I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i've created a new STD.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
