M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
pray to the hookup gods
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
