I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My brain says no but my pants say off.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
