Can i not drive my cunt home
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
