Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Boobs are out for the taking
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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