Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
