I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
