Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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