I wanna passion pit in your ass
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
