He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
