Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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