Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
