hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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