I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
