My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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