just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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