So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
