I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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