Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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