I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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