There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
