But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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