Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
