did you get engaged???
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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