Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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