im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
