This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
