well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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