All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
