I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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