I love black thongs
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize