Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
