Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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