Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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