he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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