I bet he comes in French.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
