in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
