Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
