I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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