hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
