Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
