so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She's the barista slut.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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