the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
