I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
