He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
