watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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